LYING in bed clutching my teddy, I froze in terror as the light from the landing was blocked out by a shadow.
I knew what was coming. The next moment, my dad Leslie climbed under my duvet.
Nichola Mather has bravely spoken out about the horror ordeal her father subjected her to when she was a child Credit: NEWS GROUP NEWSPAPERS
Nichola reveals how she fought back to bring two monsters to justice, including her father Leslie Mather
Ever since I could remember, Dad had abused me. I noticed in those first few years of primary school, he seemed to favour me above my siblings.
He’d buy me treats and always took my side in squabbles.
Aged six, I didn’t realise he was isolating me from the rest of the family, I just thought he liked me the best.
Whenever Mum was out, he took his chance. Sometimes, he’d take me for a drive down quiet country lanes around our home in Cheshire and abuse me in the car.
I felt constantly scared and I didn’t dare confide in my mother or anyone else, and besides, I wouldn’t have known how to explain it.
Dad called the abuse “onk”. He almost made it sound like a fun game, though he insisted it had to be a secret between us, which left me very confused.
The attacks grew worse and worse, until when I was nine, he raped me. It was excruciating.
The abuse continued into my teens. Dad always insisted I went to the supermarket with him.
He’d let me choose some sweets, then tell me to pick some condoms. It was a living nightmare, but I had no way out.
Desperate to avoid being at home, I spent as much time with my friends as possible, but then Dad became jealous and controlling.
He only allowed me out with my friends if he’d sexually assaulted me beforehand.
He told everyone what a handful I was and accused me of running after local boys.
In reality, I was terribly withdrawn and shy, with no interest at all in boys or relationships.
But by the time I turned 15, I was becoming stronger. I started sneaking out to see my friends, just to hang around the shops or to go swimming.
One evening, Dad caught me and beat me badly, leaving me covered in bruises.
A few days later at school, a teacher pulled me aside and asked who had done this to me.
I admitted Dad had hit me, but I couldn’t bring myself to say any more.
After that, my best friend’s parents took me in for a few months, and I learned what it was like to be part of a loving family.
They bought me clothes and shoes, made sure I was well-fed, and even sorted me out with a prom dress.
At 16, I moved into a flat a short drive from my family home. Living on my own was almost as frightening as living with my father – I had no confidence and no money.
Occasionally, my parents visited and Dad behaved as if nothing was wrong.
He never touched me again though, and, determined to bury those awful memories, I insisted I couldn’t remember anything about my childhood.
Aged 19, I met my first boyfriend and quickly became pregnant. The relationship broke up soon after, and when my son was born at the end of 2007, I was all alone.
Six weeks later, I met Mark Higgins through mutual friends.
Nichola was sexually abused as a child by her father Leslie Mather
Nichola says Mark Higgins would put cameras in the house so he could check where she was at all times, and left booby traps on the stairs Credit: Supplied
Mark, now 41, seemed to take charge immediately. Sleep-deprived and suffering from postnatal depression, it felt like a dream come true for me.
When he moved us into a huge four-bedroom house, I couldn’t believe my luck.
I told Mark that I wasn’t close to my family, to explain why I didn’t see them very often, and he didn’t seem to mind. I’d later realise this was because he wanted to isolate me as much as possible.
Before long, he took over our finances, including my benefits, and locked me in the house when he went out, saying it was for my own safety.
He was forever accusing me of having affairs, and even suggested I was sleeping with his mum’s partner. If I went to the supermarket, he checked my underwear for signs of infidelity.
Traumatised from the years of abuse by my father, my self-esteem in tatters and plagued by flashbacks, I was unable to stand up to him.
We went on to have three children together.
By then, we barely saw my family at all, but any time we did, I made sure that Dad was nowhere near my kids. Meanwhile, Mark’s behaviour got worse.
He put cameras in the house so he could check where I was at all times, and left toys and booby traps on the stairs, so I’d trip if I tried to sneak out while he was sleeping.
Once, he became convinced I was having an affair with a man named John, so he set up a camera outside the house and called it his “Johncam”.
Whenever he got fixated like that, he’d insist we move house.
He always chose rentals in the middle of the countryside, away from other people.
Higgins was sentenced to three years in prison for controlling and coercive behaviour
Domestic abuse – how to get help
DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone – including men – and does not always involve physical violence.
Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship:
Emotional abuse – Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse – gaslighting – being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to
Threats and intimidation – Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you
Physical abuse – This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten.
Sexual abuse – Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent.
If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers:
Remember, you are not alone.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime.
Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse.
Many times, I tried to leave, but Mark always manipulated me into coming back. Besides, I didn’t know where to go – I didn’t have a penny of my own.
By then, I’d lost touch with family and friends, and with four young children, I felt completely helpless.
Late one night in 2014, Mark was running through another interrogation routine, when I suddenly broke down and told him what my father had done to me.
Saying it out loud at last gave me the courage to go to the police, and Dad was arrested.
As we waited for the trial, Mark was supportive of me in front of other people, but behind closed doors he remained as abusive and controlling as ever.
In December 2015, my father, Leslie Mather, 63, appeared at Chester Crown Court, where he was convicted of seven counts of indecency with a child, one indecent assault and one count of rape.
He was jailed for 16 years for rape, six years for indecent assault and 18 months for each count of indecency, with all sentences ordered to run concurrently.
Though I held my head high in court, the pain of seeing Dad and reliving the horror – coupled with the abuse I was still suffering at home – left me broken.
I was so stressed and traumatised, I collapsed at home the morning of the verdict and was rushed to hospital.
Aged just 28, I’d suffered a major stroke. Thankfully, my speech came back after a week, and during my rehabilitation I began confiding in people about Mark.
Following support from a teacher at the children’s school, I finally went to the police in 2018. The children and I were moved away from Mark, first to a safe house and then our own home.
He was arrested, though the trial was postponed several times.
But in November 2023 – exactly eight years after my father was jailed, and at the same court – Mark was sentenced to three years in prison for controlling and coercive behaviour.
I really hope that my story can help someone else. I went through hell, not once, but twice.
Every day is a struggle – I still have flashbacks and become very overwhelmed in new situations – but I feel so much stronger.
My focus now is giving the children the stability I never had, and thankfully, they are doing really well.
All my life, I thought I’d never be believed. After two court cases and two abusers jailed, I’ve taken back control.
I am proud of myself for getting justice, and I will never be abused again.
Visit Stand Up To Domestic Abuse at Sutda.org.
