TUESDAY is both my birthday and wedding anniversary.
I’m turning 44, and I should be celebrating 17 years of marriage. Instead, cancer well and truly put a spanner in the works. So, yeah, this week’s going to be challenging to say the least.
Lorna Luxe opens up about the difficult week of celebrating her birthday and wedding anniversary for the first time without John Credit: News Group Newspapers Ltd
Lorna with John Credit: Instagram
It won’t surprise you to hear that John always made a big fuss of me on my birthday.
The anniversary celebrations kicked off mid-afternoon, but the birthday girl came first, so we’d start the day with a Buck’s fizz and fancy breakfast.
Later, I’d get tarted up for dinner to celebrate us. John called it the “birthday month”, as the whole of August was filled with surprises and gifts of jewellery or shoes – or sometimes both.
Usually, we’d be on holiday at this point. Last year, we spent it on Italy’s Amalfi Coast, and the year before on Santorini in Greece, but at the moment, I don’t feel confident enough to go away alone.
I like company, and I think it’s OK to want to be with friends and share these moments, so I’m going to stay in London with pals. It’s too emotional to have our anniversary in Ghost House – I’m not ready for that yet.
But I will start the day with a Buck’s fizz, and toast him.
I know I’ll need to keep busy, so the day before I have a cookery class with my pal, chef Elliott Grover, and Saturday Kitchen’s Matt Tebbutt is coming, too – I’m curious to meet him.
Having two chefs teaching me to cook will hopefully make me twice as good at whipping up dishes for my friends.
John always made a big fuss of Lorna on her birthday Credit: lornaluxe/ Instagram
Since John died, Lorna has cleared that life is a blessing and to be celebrated Credit: Instagram
John has got the actual day covered, too – as well as leaving me notes telling me how to live life without him, he gave my friends instructions before he died to “make sure they organise something nice” for my birthday.
So my besties Charlie and Michael will take me for lunch, then we’re going out for drinks. Charlie is my business partner, and I instantly clicked with Michael when I met him through work.
They know I’m not sure how I’ll feel on the day, so we are playing it by ear.
They’ve said if I want to go back to Ghost House, they will come with me, and if not, we can stay in London. I feel lucky to know they’ve got my back.
When I turned 40, I stopped getting too giddy about my birthday. Like many women, I’m not a fan of ageing. While getting older is a privilege, it’s also hard work to stay looking good. So I liked to focus on our anniversary.
But since John died, I’ve had a bit of a reframe. Life is a blessing and to be celebrated – so I can live with the wrinkles and joint pain, because at least I am here.
And hitting 44 has made me think about how I want the rest of my 40s to look. John was 46 when we met.
He always said his life started at that point. It makes me feel a bit more positive to go: “Well, John didn’t think life had even begun before he met me.”
THIS WEEK I’M…
Watching. . . Ride Or Die
Hannah Waddingham is incredible in this brilliant Prime Video thriller series. It’s 10 out of 10. No notes.
Staying at. . . The Gallivant in Camber Sands
I judge a hotel by how good its chips are – and The Gallivant’s are excellent!
Reading. . . The Heart You Kept
I’m back into my racy novels and I’m devouring TL Swan’s new one – it’s so good!
So hopefully the next decade will be really special. I’ll make memories, I’ll build our business and I’ll make him proud.
I’d love to do something really wild and out of my comfort zone. Maybe make a documentary or go on I’m A Celebrity! Just something that John would go: “F**king hell!” I know that life opens weird doors, so I’m ready to go through them now.
Of course, big celebrations are about presents, so I’ve already treated myself to a pair of Chanel slingbacks.
John wouldn’t mind me sneaking a present early.
Follow Lorna on Instagram @Lorna.
