HEARING the opening notes to ABBA’s Fernando, Pixie-Rae Price felt nothing but fear.
From a young age she claims that whenever that song played it was a sign she was about to be beaten.
Pixie-Rae Price was emotionally and physically abused by her mum from the age of one Credit: SWNS
Pixie says she knew something was going to happen when ‘Fernando’ started playing Credit: SWNS
Pixie, 40, said she experienced physical and emotional abuse from aged one, at the hands of her mum, Laura Price, who took her own life in 2017.
In front of people, Pixie said her mum was the “most loving mother”, but behind closed doors, life was “horrific”.
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Pixie said she was slapped, strangled, and even thrown down the stairs by her mum.
She claimed her mum was a heavy drinker, and knew she was about to be beaten when she heard ‘Fernando’ playing on the speakers in the living room.
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Pixie says her mum came across as a “wonderful, loving mother” to other people Credit: SWNS
Pixie says her mum struggled with her mental health and would use drink and drugs to cope Credit: SWNS
The abuse continued until Pixie left the home aged 15 and had no contact with her mum five years before she died.
After losing her mum, Pixie has learned to forgive her.
Pixie, a former dance teacher from Hersham, Surrey, said: “My mum had me at 15.
“To other people, she came across as the most wonderful, loving mother.
“On the outside, I was spoilt; I had dance lessons, gymnastics, horses. On the outside looking in, our life was good.
“But behind closed doors, it was horrific; she was an alcoholic and would smoke a lot of weed – and beat me often.
“When ABBA‘s Fernando started playing, I knew something was about to go down.
“When I heard the footsteps coming upstairs, I knew I was about to get beaten.
“I can’t listen to ABBA now; I am traumatised.”
Pixie’s mum would slap her, strangle her and throw her down the stairs Credit: SWNS
Pixie pictured at her mum’s funeral after she took her own life in 2017 Credit: SWNS
Pixie found a doctor’s note from when she was one-years-old that read “victim of physical abuse. From mother, placed on CPR”.
She said her mum struggled with her mental health and would turn to drink and drugs to cope.
But the alcohol consumption led to a cycle of terrifying abuse.
“My mum would have an alcohol session in the front room,” Pixie said.
“She would get upset about something, and the next minute she would be in my room and started beating me.
“My mum would throw me down the stairs, slap me around the face and strangle me.”
Pixie also alleges that there was a lot of emotional abuse in her childhood.
She said, “everything would always be my fault”, and her mum would call her “fat”, “ugly” and a “moron”.
Pixie struggled with anorexia and alcoholism, and went to rehab in 2022 Credit: SWNS
She says she’s annoyed she grieved her mum but has learned to forgive her Credit: SWNS
Pixie said: “There was a lot of emotional abuse as well as physical.
“Everything was always my fault; I was told I was selfish.
“My mum called me fat and ugly, as well as a dipstick, dork and moron.
“I was very young and blocked a lot of the emotional abuse out until I started therapy – that brought back a lot of memories.”
At 14, Pixie said she started drinking to cope with the abuse she had been subjected to and developed an eating disorder, which she was treated for in hospital.
Pixie moved out of her mum’s home when she was 15.
Once she moved out, she said she had an “on and off” relationship with her family before cutting it off completely.
“Drinking was a big issue in my life for a while, but anorexia was my biggest issue.
“My mum was so beautiful, I just wanted to look like her,” Pixie said.
“I was a functioning alcoholic for many years, but that stopped in 2022 when it started to take over my life, and I went to rehab.
“I relapsed a couple of times, but I went cold turkey in 2023, and I haven’t touched a drop since.”
After five years of no contact with her mum, Pixie got a call from her sister in October 2017, telling her that their mum had committed suicide.
Pixie said it was “conflicting” when her mother died, as she was mourning her abuser, and now regrets mourning her mother’s death as much as she did.
She said: “The whole experience was a head f**k – it was very conflicting.
“It has only been in the past couple of years, as I got sober, that I am annoyed that I grieved her.
“My abuser was dead; I look back and wonder why I was grieving so much.
“I am not glad she died; nobody deserves to die by suicide.
“It was a sad moment in my life – I have learned to forgive my mum.”
