“YOU’RE SO boring, do you f*** your wife the same way?” is the most caustic putdown Roy Keane levelled at Carlos Queiroz.
The much-missed Manchester United fanzine Red Issue revealed that tidbit 15 years ago. Keane then confirmed he had used such language in his 2014 autobiography, only he uncharacteristically omitted the swear words.
Carlos Queiroz instructs Roy Keane in his first season back at United in 2004-05 Credit: Manchester United via Getty Images
Queiroz and Keane during their more amiable first season together in 2002 Credit: PA Archive
Queiroz, now 73, had to possess a skill-set and personality to warrant Sir Alex Ferguson standing by him over Keane, his greatest captain.
Keane had his contract torn up in November 2005. Ferguson, liberated, set about assembling his third and last great side and Queiroz was indispensable.
Queiroz was not everyone’s cup of tea at United. He was chiefly blamed for United’s bloodless football in the 2004-05 campaign. Ferguson briefly boycotted MUTV the following season after presenter Paul Anthony implored United to switch back to a 4-4-2 formation from the Queiroz-inspired 4-5-1.
Panama, at their second World Cup across the Atlantic, had more possession, more attempts at goal and more on target than Queiroz’s Ghana in Toronto on Thursday.
But Queiroz’s ends justified the means with Caleb Yirenkyi’s 95th-minute winner. Queiroz, the oldest coach to clinch a World Cup match, did not look his age when he embarked on a celebratory jog at full-time.
On ITV this week, Keane said Queiroz had the “personality of a dead fish”. On the same channel at the 2018 World Cup, Keane admitted: “I should have probably ripped his head off”.
That was a reference to the summer of 2005. Keane and Queiroz were at loggerheads at the start of United’s pre-season training camp in Vale do Lobo in Portugal, which Queiroz had organised.
Ferguson was absent at the start and upon his arrival Queiroz informed him that Keane had been a “nightmare” over his accommodation.
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Keane actually enjoyed his time in Portugal. His family were present, as they had been holidaying in the area before United’s training schedule began.
But after United returned to Manchester, Keane tweaked his hamstring and missed the pre-season tour of Asia. When he regained his fitness, he found Queiroz to be aloof.
The moment Keane wanted to “rip his head off” came after Queiroz tossed him a bib and asked him to stand up front during a practice match.
That was the beginning of the end of Keane at United and he was gone less than four months later.
Keane’s unaired appearance on MUTV for the weekly ‘Plays the Pundit’ edition, in which he analysed United’s diabolical 4-1 thrashing by Middlesbrough in October 2005, gave Ferguson grounds for a severance. But the friction started with Queiroz.
Gary Neville had been scheduled to nestle into the pundit’s chair but had to withdraw. Somehow, someone at MUTV thought that Keane would be a safe alternative.
Ferguson eventually insisted that the whole squad watch the video. So the United squad gathered in his office, like politicians in No.10 for a hastily-arranged cabinet meeting.
Keane insists his teammates were fine with his analysis, but perhaps none had the nerve to question him.
Keane, in one of his final appearances for United, on the opening day of the 2005-06 season Credit: News Group Newspapers Ltd
Queiroz watches Keane at Carrington Credit: John Peters
Ferguson and Queiroz were present and seething. Queiroz questioned Keane’s loyalty, the second time Keane surprised himself by exercising physical restraint.
Keane retorted: “Don’t you f*****g talk to me about loyalty, Carlos. You left this club after 12 months a few years ago for the Real Madrid job.”
Ferguson knew Keane had to go and United confirmed the news at the end of the November international fortnight. Keane considered it Saipan Mk II – the sequel to his fall-out with Mick McCarthy before the 2002 World Cup.
In United’s next game at Charlton Athletic, the United supporters unfurled a banner in tribute to Keane and chanted “F**k off Queiroz”.
Ferguson’s backing of Queiroz was staunch. Amid the MUTV fallout, Neville had also approached Ferguson to express concern about Queiroz’s training methods and received The Hairdryer.
Ferguson conceded Queiroz could be repetitive with some drills – hence Keane’s quip about consistent love-making – and once dubbed him a “funny old sod”.
Before United played Barcelona in the 2008 Champions League semi-final first leg at Camp Nou, Queiroz placed mats on the training pitch to signal where the players should specifically be positioned whenever Barca were in possession.
It worked. United did not concede in either leg, winning 1-0 on aggregate to reach their third European Cup final.
Queiroz and Ferguson prepare for the 2008 Champions League final at the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow Credit: Getty
Valter di Salvo, Queiroz, Tony Coton and Mike Phelan join Ferguson in celebrating the 2006 League Cup win Credit: Getty Images
Across two spells as Ferguson’s assistant that totalled five years, Queiroz helped United to three Premier League titles, the Champions League and the League Cup.
After Queiroz left to take over as Portugal coach in 2008, United were too often tactically inept in Ferguson’s twilight years in management.
There were three more titles, two more League Cups, a Club World Cup, and two more Champions League final appearances, back when United were such serial winners that a title could feel unfulfilling if it was not accompanied by the European Cup.
But United were disjointed against Barca in Rome in 2009 and even worse at Wembley in 2011. A dressing room argument ensued at half-time in the latter over the tactics.
Queiroz’s in-house successor, Mike Phelan, was a Ferguson loyalist and the players found his sessions enjoyable. But Phelan was ill-equipped to outmaneuver elite opponents in an era that Pep Guardiola’s Barcelona and the Spain national side changed the tactical landscape.
Since following Ferguson out of Old Trafford in 2013, Phelan has had forgettable caretaker stints at Norwich and Hull and a second spell as United assistant next to Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, a deluded period in which the club attempted to summon the spirit of Ferguson.
Phelan’s only coaching role in the last four years was a 23-day spell assisting Wayne Rooney at Plymouth Argyle. Queiroz is at his fifth consecutive World Cup.
As for Queiroz’s wife, reports in 2009 suggested the Queirozs had separated, but Queiroz sported a wedding ring in Toronto.
Queiroz during Ghana’s hydration break Credit: AP
Queiroz celebrates Ghana’s win Credit: via ZUMA Press Wire/Shutterstock
