You may wonder — in modern times, how does the ego manifest in the workplace and in personal space?In the form of leaders and managers who worship at the altar of unending profit, who drive performance with rage, greed, fear and the threat of the proverbial sword of dismissal hanging over their teams. Such leaders corner a disproportionately large portion of profits and benefits, while those on the lower rungs are denied a living wage. If the organisation underperforms, they blame their team, colleagues, industry, economy and so on, but never themselves. They seek to succeed at the expense of all others — it shows that they are driven by false ego, which has spiralled out of control.Such leaders are always in a tearing hurry — to ‘succeed’, to conquer the cosmos, to defeat everyone else. Proud of overworking themselves and others to the bone. Proud of always being ‘on’, of living in the workplace, of a lack of healthy boundaries. (Rest is, no wonder, a controversial word in the modern workplace.) The corollary is that they skimp on their duties and/or make others perform them.In personal life, the egoistic people can be identified by their behavioural traits; they are the ones who put their needs and interests above those of the family or partner. They are quick to lose their temper, slow to admit faults. They lack empathy but possess an abundance of entitlement. Their relationships and conversations are all about them, and they believe they are the most knowledgeable in the world.Do these egoistic people in the workplace or in personal life remind you of King Hiranyakashipu, whose ego destroyed his intellect? How should you manage them?Well, accept such people also as a choiceless situation. So know this — they will not change. The effort should be to change yourself, not them. To change your attitude towards them. And not let their words or actions cause harm. Accept them, not with hatred but as a part of life — this will take time, but ultimately, you will realise that hatred is a waste of time and effort.Maybe they thrive on another person’s perceived weakness and draw their power from control over others. Or perhaps they are hurt from some life experiences and seek to project their trauma onto another. Whatever the reason, you are not obliged to suffer at their hands. Even if they are family or friends.As an aspiring devotee, you have a duty to respect others but also to safeguard the self. This is not being selfish but prudent. The humility or a lack of ego of a devotee is not to be confused with a lack of self-respect, weakness or foolishness. You can be selfless, humble and non-egoistic without allowing others to inflict harm upon you, verbal or otherwise. Standing up for yourself and others is a key duty of the devotee.Didn’t great leaders like Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi and Rani Lakshmibai, among others, stand up against tyranny and colonialism, and succeed? On the contrary, remember the fate of Ravana? And that of Hitler? They were defeated, and so will any ego that harms another.On the other hand, if it was your false ego that caused hurt, you must seek forgiveness and course correct. Because you will also be in the wrong from time to time. There is no one in the world who is perfect — your ego can also hurt or destroy another person’s peace of mind. Initially, you may feel satisfied that you won a shouting competition or slanging match, but it is a false joy, the cost of which you will pay at a later date.If you need to seek forgiveness (in the future), you will have to learn to forgive (in the present). You cannot continue to hold a grudge towards a friend but expect benevolence from the Higher Power (or anyone else).To sum up — in everyday life, you may enjoy some amount of pride when you discharge your duties as a devotee, spouse, parent, friend, employee or leader, but it should not be allowed to grow out of control. For a layperson, a small ego is normal and indeed a must to fuel ethical desire and positive ambition.— Excerpted from ‘Bhakti Yoga’, with permission from Rupa