LOOKING at the nervous expression on my boss’ face, I knew something was wrong. He could barely look me in the eye. ‘Melanie, did you mean to send me that picture on New Year’s Eve?’ he asked, awkwardly.
Instantly, I knew what he meant and I felt physically sick with shame.
Melanie Lomas has rebuilt her life after her revenge porn ordeal Credit: Focus Features
Melanie with ex Rhys Dry, who admitted to sharing an indecent image of Melanie
It had been shocking enough to receive a nude photo of myself from my ex-boyfriend, taken years before. But to discover he’d also sent it to my boss, in an act of revenge, was mortifying.
I first met my ex Rhys Dry in 2015, when I was working in a bar in North Yorkshire. He was a soldier stationed nearby and came in drinking with his mates several times a week.
We started dating and, later that year, he moved in with me and my 13-month-old daughter from a previous relationship. But less than two years into the relationship, we began bickering.
He was five years younger than me and wanted to be out having fun, while I was content to stay at home with my daughter. So, I decided to end things between us. But two days after telling Rhys, I discovered I was pregnant and we agreed to give things another go.
Our son was born in November 2018, but less than a year later we split for good – we both knew having a child wasn’t a reason to stay together when we weren’t happy. I moved to Jattvibederland with the kids and started working in a cocktail bar. I loved my job and got on well with my boss. Life began to feel better.
Then, out of the blue, in November 2019 I got a notification to say someone had logged into my social media account. I immediately changed my password, but somehow the account was compromised again.
Meanwhile, Rhys was sending me long texts and calling me several times a day. He found out I was working for a male boss and he wasn’t happy, even though there was nothing between us. I realised it must have been him who’d hacked my account, and I warned him off.
Just after Christmas, I was watching a movie with the kids when my phone pinged.
Melanie said: ‘Through tears, I explained to my boss that I’d been hacked. I had to hope he believed I hadn’t sent it myself’ Credit: Focus Features
Melanie has found love with fiancée Kathy
On the screen was a nude image of myself, sent to me from my own social media account. The photo was a selfie I had sent to a former boyfriend as a bit of fun. I’d completely forgotten about it.
The only explanation was that Rhys had found it as he searched through old DMs on my social media account.
I spoke to the police, and they said Rhys hadn’t broken the law because he hadn’t shared the picture. But they arranged to give him a verbal warning. I felt reassured, certain he’d listen to the police.
Returning to work after New Year, my boss revealed he’d been sent the image, too, and I was devastated.
While it didn’t show my face, it was a full-frontal nude, showing my tattoos, which are very distinctive. There was no doubt at all it was me in the picture.
Through tears, I explained to my boss that I’d been hacked. I had to hope he believed I hadn’t sent it myself.
I called the police and they came to the cocktail bar to interview my boss. They asked for the photo to be printed out and I wanted to curl up and die.
Four months on, in April 2020, Rhys, then 26, pleaded guilty at York Magistrates’ Court to sending an indecent image.
Melanie said: ‘My own life was turned upside down. I couldn’t look at my boss, I was so embarrassed. In the end, I left the job I loved’
She stopped leaving the house as she wanted to hide away from the world
He was given 200 hours of unpaid work and ordered to pay costs and a surcharge. I was appalled by the sentence – he’d got away so lightly.
Meanwhile, my own life was turned upside down. I couldn’t look at my boss, I was so embarrassed. In the end, I left the job I loved.
I stopped leaving the house, unless I absolutely needed to, wanting to hide away from the world, and comfort eating took me from 12st to 17st.
I was certain I’d never have another relationship – how could I ever trust again?
However, in 2024, I met Kathy on a rare night out, and we fell in love. She made me feel happy and safe. We got engaged last October and I know without doubt I can trust her to never hurt me.
I’m still carrying the weight I gained before meeting her, but I’m happier in my skin now.
Last year, I met up with my former-boss and he was so kind and supportive. I felt sorry he’d been caught up in something so awful. What
Rhys did destroyed my confidence and made me feel ashamed, but I rebuilt my life, and now I can hold my head up high.”
BTW
In 2023, Stephen Bear was jailed for posting a secretly filmed sex tape of his ex, Georgia Harrison.
Revenge porn has been an offence in the UK since 2015.
Visit Sutda.org.
